Developing self-acceptance

Personal development requires a huge amount of effort, discipline and vigour to break through the barriers of habit and reap the limitless rewards. But whilst it is important to be strict with ourselves, it must be done in a loving context. That means recognising that mistakes are an essential part of life; they are unavoidable opportunities that help form strong, happy personalities. The question is whether we learn from them or not. How much do we allow ourselves to repeat them? That will vary from situation to situation, and person to person, and in any case we must bear in mind that we are only human. Some things we won't change overnight, or even in the next 2 years. 

I believe it is possible to strike a balance of sincere commitment to change, and acceptance of how we are in the present moment. Giving ourselves a pat on the back for our successes, no matter how small, and using humour to view our follies in the sometimes absurd, theatrical way events can happen, can really help us to relax and accept ourselves. Trying to put things into the bigger perspective of eternity may also get us back into that peaceful frame of mind after not achieving what we set out to do within a given time.

Try to embrace all weaknesses like a learning child might be embraced by its understanding parents. Sometimes it will fall over or make a mess through simple trial and error. The more you can accept yourself, the more you will be able to accept others. That makes for a much more peaceful environment and more harmonious relationships.

What is empowerment?

What do I mean by empowerment? Let’s first exclude the contradictory interpretations. I am not talking about the commonplace, materialistic notion of the giving of power, or enabling because this is by default limited to material dependency. It is not about having or enabling political power or the power to control or manipulate others, being at a competitive advantage, achieving unlimited technological progress or having access to vast choices of affordable material goods. It is not about licensing to destroy.

Whilst these features of a materialistic society might appear to seem beneficial in the short-term, it is only at the cost of others less advantaged and the environment. What goes around comes around: the greed, aggression, domination and all the symptoms of a belief that we live in isolation from one another, has bred more of the same.  In fact this belief, although part of human nature, is psychopathic, irrational and yet so institutionalized that it allows for extreme human rights abuses to be committed, and often directly or subconsciously hidden from others’ eyes, whether through media control, politically, or individual cover-ups. That world-view says nothing about how to enable the sense of freedom and hope, despite e.g. a lack of material possessions, low status in an official hierarchy, a period of illness or conflict with others. It only tells us how the material status can be improved for a limited time for a restricted number of people and ignores the costs to a dangerous degree because it doesn’t understand the concept of unity.

True empowerment is when an individual or group recognizes that they have a choice to push those limiting fears aside, the type of fear that constrains our creativity, love, wisdom, compassion, ability to follow our dreams. It is the enabling of courage to rise up out of incapacitating negativity and apathy, to move forward towards the desired situation. It is when we start to understand that our lives are inextricably linked to others’ in a vast network of existence, despite our differences, so we become more conscious of our responsibility to support the whole and not just the self. This allows compassion and wisdom to increasingly infiltrate our thoughts and deeds. Simply the connection with the whole gives a sense of place and meaning to life which, naturally, creates a deep feeling of happiness in itself. It is the use of free will to choose new, unexplored paths that broaden horizons instead of narrowing them. It is the creation of a vision of value for the self and the whole. In these moments we are empowered. We are then conscious of the power to change the course of our lives for the better, and how we can positively influence our environment. We can act, regardless of how hopeless a situation may seem to be at the time. The voice of hope becomes louder than the voice of circumstances. We cease to be the effect and instead become the cause. We see that problems are a springboard for gaining greater strength.

This is the greatest power there is to be experienced, because problems become our nourishment when they unavoidably arise!  When this all becomes the basis for our life, we will start to manifest amazing, ultimately desirable changes. Life becomes an adventure, something joyous, precious and full of meaning and patterns of causality. We become grateful for the wealth that life has offered us. Empowerment is the realization of happiness through unity and free-will. Once we become empowered we are in the position to make quantum leaps in personal development relative to the non-conscious state. We start taking full responsibility for our situation – we are the creators.