spiral-m

Happiness – absolute and relative

by

Happiness is when you are in the flow. You feel alive. At peace with yourself and others. Emotionally connected and in harmony with others. Being in your creative element. Savouring the delightful, sensual flavours of life. Discovering your potential. Seeing the positive side of problems. Laughing things off….

I believe that, deep down, everyone is searching for happiness but it eludes so many and so often because of the clouded mind of illusions. Most people still look for it in things far more than in themselves, only to find that it doesn't materialise at all or is that most short-lived. That is because of a cycle of dissatisfaction through wanting more all the time, or lack of gratitude, and generally not realising that we are the deciders in the matter of happiness. Happiness is a decision.

When you feel happy, you attract many good things: people, situations, success… You have a higher state of energy and this obviously can improve your health and motivational level. On the other hand, when you are “down" or “low" that is by definition a less energetic state except perhaps during short-lived bursts of anger. But even after a bout of anger we often feel sapped of energy because we were fighting against something with frustration. Low energy levels mean a tendency for health to deteriorate, and may result in attracting undesirable events and situations. It certainly doesn't equate with feeling alive being of a generally negative mindset. Surely we want to feel alive and well?

The negative emotions have a positive role to play when we learn to understand them and their causes, and are able to create value as a result of them. But if they get the upper hand generally, we become imprisoned through tunnel-vision, a vicious cycle of seeing only bad meaning in events, which fuels further fatalism and victimisation-perceptions when such events repeat themselves. Phases of positivity and negativity together in life are not only unavoidable, they are necessary to make for dynamic, interesting and enriching experiences as long as we don't allow ourselves to remain in negativity.

Much of happiness that is experienced is relative. It requires desirable events, situations, people and material things. It needs life to go well. In contrast, absolute happiness is a state that can exist despite things “going badly". In reality it may seem like an impossible task to be happy during hard times and it would be foolish to expect a plateau of joy to continue unabated come what may. It is normal and healthy to fall into despair, anger, hatred and frustration from time to time. But the human potential is huge for learning to see the positive side of undesirable events as they arise, for developing the skills of resilience, for being imaginative and creative in transforming problems, for focusing on thoughts that recreate positive energy, or even for completely letting go if necessary, so that one can achieve an inner stillness. There are many methods available to us to create absolute happiness if we are only willing to look and try hard enough.

How I became a singer through a fighting spirit

by

Back in the days where I wrote my first songs, I hated my voice. I saw myself as songwriter and guitarist but never a singer! I tried working together with a male singer for a short period in Scotland before moving to Germany. I had to record my voice with my song-arrangements, so as to give him an idea of the vocals I was looking for. It ended up as an embarrassingly thin, unconfident and out of tune sound to my ears. He told me I should stick to playing the guitar and I agreed promptly.  Any singing career was seemingly buried for ever in that moment!

Once in Germany, I continued to write songs and embarked upon an endless search for the perfect singer. I heard many styles and levels of accomplishment along the way, from both female and male voices, but I was never satisfied. I knew what I wanted –  a clear, highish pop voice –  but nothing fitted the bill entirely and sometimes there was a chemistry problem.

After a few years I did discover a singer with a voice that came about as close to my expectations as was acceptable. She was easy to get on with, too, and we seemed to have a large amount of common musical ground. So we started a project together which began with a covers programme (she believed in that strategy of slowly introducing original material into the repertoire in order to be able to get gigs – I didn't agree particularly but saw no other option than to follow this plan).

We did a few concerts and put a lot of work into it, both being perfectionist, and I had a lot of optimism for the future regarding our project. She forced me to sing some songs at gigs myself, which in turn showed me how with practice I actually could produce a reasonable sound, at least for a few numbers! I began to think I might be able to pull off singing one or 2 of my own pieces myself, so I started going to an open mic to practice these songs even though I was pretty nervous about it. This was my first, small breakthrough.

Then one day we were due to rehearse for a gig the next week at the same bar that also held the open mic. Quite a number of friends were enthusiastic about coming. She came round to my flat and informed me that she could no longer work with me due to a number of reasons including not having enough time for her own band. Also, she said that the bar owner at the open mic venue had replaced us at short notice because some New York jazz star happened to be in town and available on that evening to perform himself. The first bit of news made me very sad and disappointed. I saw the loss of a great opportunity and waste of hard effort committed to our duo. The other news angered me greatly: Even if we were an “unknown" act it was totally disrespectful to simply discard us and so late in the day.

However, that same evening the open mic was happening, and with as much determination as I could muster, I resolved to play 3 new songs there as I had planned before the bad news. I felt abysmal: severely let down, disrespected with that selfish business practice, low in energy and still hyper-nervous about singing on stage! But I dragged myself down to the bar and sang those pieces! I amazed myself like never before, I don't think I had ever felt so liberated. I can't remember if I sang particularly well, technically, but I didn't care about that aspect. At night, in bed, I couldn't get to sleep for ages. I was simply astounded, hardly believing that I was that person who acted so courageously. It felt completely alien to me. It took me about a day to come to terms with my new-found strength. And then I had a realisation in the typical fashion of a light being switched on: I was able to sing all of my songs myself and that's exactly what I do now with joy and a great amount of satisfaction!

I have often since encouraged others to adopt a similar approach when they feel imprisoned by a fear of embarking upon a dream, or aren’t able to see their own potential. One example was an amateur fiddler who went to a celtic session almost weekly but put herself down amongst the "much better" professionals so much that she barely lifted her instrument to play herself. I forced her to ignore her voice of fear, and simply get on with it. Only 1-2 years later she was already a passionate, happy performer in front of any crowd!

Once you start the ball rolling in yourself you can inspire those around you to break free.

Transcending the state of Hell

by

An essential part of the Buddhist organisation I am involved with, is the aspect of practical training in order to grow. This involves doing so-called “activities" where you try to commit yourself 100% to creating happiness for other members by taking on some responsibility at a meeting or event. That could be anything from greeting people warmly as they arrive, to giving a study presentation. No matter what obstacles you encounter along the way, you are taught to never give up regardless, unless of course it would harm you to do so. I am deeply grateful for these trainings because they've taught me that I have more empowerment potential than I sometimes believe when I'm in low spirits.

These activities are a cornerstone in accessing the world of empowerment, striving for the greater good and creating happiness as a result for yourself, too. When you set noble goals you will often be presented with seemingly insurmountable obstacles along the way. These are precisely what you need in order to learn how to win against your Demons. This type of training, therefore results in enormous strength and hope if done correctly.

Because I am a musician, I am often asked to contribute to Buddhist gatherings by playing one or 2 pieces. One such occasion was the ceremony for the receiving of a scroll by some new members, in this case a married couple. This scroll is meditated in front of as it symbolises a mirror of one's life. The ceremony is regarded as a very special occasion because the recipient is deemed as having committed themselves to the Buddhist philosophy, so it's like starting a new life of hope, happiness and growth.

I was to perform at about 11 AM, not early at all, but because of my negative and apathetic state of mind the night before I stayed out late and slept little. I hadn't taken my responsibility too seriously. I was in a foul mood the next morning and had to drag myself along to the meeting begrudgingly. I thought I would never be able to create a vibe of joy with my own attitude, so what the hell was I doing it for anyway? But the quiet voice of experience and wisdom inside me made me carry on. I sat in the audience watching the others smiling, relaxed and looking particularly Buddhist in the positive sense! They clapped enthusiastically as the new, committed couple joyfully received their scrolls, radiating love towards one another. It just made me feel even worse. How could I possibly pull this performance off in the right spirit? I had never been so resentful of having to play.

On zhe other hand my wiser self told me to do it to the letter – to strive with all my might and give it my best shot for the sake of creating happiness for others. Transformation would be round the corner. It was a mental battle literally up to the last second. As a professional performer, I am normally able to pull off a convincing act even when I am considerably tired, and most people don't notice any demons that might be whining away inside my head. So I played “well". People really appreciated it. I didn't feel joyous in the middle of the piece but that quickly changed as I recognised that I had managed to give people a great feeling. I then was filled with incredible satisfaction knowing that I had overcome the state of Hell once again and all had benefited!

What I learned from this experience yet again was the potential in the darkest times for positive transformation. Once you can recognise that you have it in you, and focus your efforts on using that power, you are again able to see that you are an amazing person.

Wordpress Social Share Plugin powered by Ultimatelysocial